How to start over when things fall apart?
One of the most common questions I have been asked from my clients is what to do when you are feeling lost or how to start over when things fall apart?
So when we lose a job, a friend, a relationship, our health, our sanity, or our home, or we face some form of loss or uncertainty in life. We feel shattered and crumbled under a mountain. We feel senseless in going forward as we don’t see any direction. I have got news for you, it happens to the BEST of us. All of us at some point in our lives will face this adversity or have faced it. But what matters is not what happens to us instead of how we choose to respond to a situation. If not in everyday life, during these times we tend to get exceptionally hard on ourselves. We forget how we made it thus far and that is an accomplishment in itself.
We forget that what is happening outside of us doesn’t define us. We forget that we have been resilient in the past and can do that yet again. We forget our many special talents, abilities, gifts, and uniqueness. It is the meanings we attach to a situation that gives a definition to our life. So, when we have this choice and freedom to design our thoughts, our destiny why not pick the very BEST meaning? Yes, our feelings take us to the depths unimaginable at times. Yes, our emotions get the best of us. But breathe, this too shall pass. I have compiled a few pointers on “what to do” and “what not to do” when you are feeling lost.
a) Choose to give your situation “Empowering Meaning” over “Disempowering Meaning”. Example, saying to yourself: “This situation is only here to make me stronger, smarter and wiser. What is it trying to teach me?”, versus, “I am a failure. I can’t do anything right. I have nothing to look forward to”.
b) Stay in the present. One breath. One moment. One thought. One action at a time. Do your best in just one moment.
c) Take one day at a time. Win today and drop the baggage of past and anxiety of the future.
d) Ask yourself: What can I do today to make myself happy? Is it listening to music? Reading? Taking a walk in nature or if you are like me taking afternoon tiger naps.
e) Nourish and nurture the biggest gift of life to you- your Body. It will take you to places, it will give you pleasure. It will help you fulfill your dreams. Respect it. Love it. Nurture it.
What not to do:
a) Take out all negativity from your mind, from your world, from your thoughts. Meaning no binge-watching negative news. No getting trapped in someone else’s drama. You get the picture!!?
b) No jumping to social media without clear intentions. Set clock. Set intention. Don’t use the number of ‘likes’ as an escape of some sort. Time is money- your biggest nonrenewable resource.
c) No comparison to another person’s journey or timeline or achievements or titles. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s end or middle.
d) No to people and events that don’t add value to your life or drain you. Not worth it.
This is your ONE shot. Your ONE life. Devote it to love. To excellence. To mastery. To compassion. To truth. To beauty. To service. To becoming your BEST version!!
Make it count!!